If you think that an emotional
vampire has something to do with Twilight, think again! Emotional vampires are
people that "suck the good" out of every relationship. Rather than
feasting on blood they feed on the positive energy or good feelings that exist
in a relationship. Also, unlike the traditional vampires of legend, emotional
vampires are very real, and take shape in the form of people we interact with
and try and befriend
Friendships are built on trust,
support, and fun, so having someone in your life that diminishes this will make
it difficult to be yourself. More than that, emotional vampires can leave you
mentally exhausted, and at worst, can make you question your own choices in
life. True friends, by contrast, should be gently honest with you and encourage
you. Your friends should be there to give you support and provide an emotional
safe place where you won't be ridiculed or made to feel less than you are.
If you are friends with an
emotional vampire, your entire view of friendships can be skewed. Emotional
vampires are dangerous because they don't attack head on, but rather work their
way into your psyche little by little. Their actions are not overt, so in order
to figure those out you might question their intentions and loyalty. All of
this emotional energy can be better spent in dealing with the good friends you
have instead.
Typically, emotional vampires are
all about them as opposed to you. So they will talk about their problems ad
nauseam without reciprocating the gesture and let you get a few things off your
chest. Or, they will manage to change the level of excitement in a room full of
people. For example, let's say you have a girlfriend announce at dinner that
she just got a new job. Other friends around the table will tell her positive
things, such as "congratulations" and "great job." They
will ask her questions about her new job and encourage her if she reveals that
she is a little bit scared or nervous.
The emotional vampire, however,
will use this event to talk about their own problems. Or, they will point out
all the bad things about the new job, such as the long hours or low pay. They
will trample over the positive vibe that is happening and it will have an
effect on the others. Suddenly the mood of the room will change to something
darker, and the people at the table will leave feeling more "down"
than positive and upbeat. If you were laughing or having fun before, chances
are the mood is decidedly different after the emotional vampire arrives.
In short, if you feel worse after
you see or talk to your friend, that person may be an emotional vampire. Before
you decide to pull away from the friendship, however, make sure you know for
sure that this person isn't just have a rough time of things, or even just a
bad day. Emotional vampires consistently bring you down, so if you notice this
going on regularly over time, chances are you have an emotional vampire in your
life. You can also freeing yourself of emotional vampires
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